Meet a woman who redefined 'aging' for me.

The Quiet Strength of the Present Moment: Bernadette

There is a specific kind of peace that certain people carry—a peace that doesn’t just sit in the room, but fills it. When Bernadette Williams walked into my studio, I felt it immediately. At 79, nearly 80, she carries herself with a youthful energy and earned grace that is both soft and unshakable.

Bernadette (or "Bern," as she’s known to those who hold her dear) came to me because she wanted to step out of her comfort zone. After observing 50 over 50 Vol. 1, she decided she was ready to share her story. Bern was a little nervous, which is natural, but as we moved through the session—playing with her elegant and beautiful wardrobe pieces and letting the makeup enhance the light already in her eyes—that nervousness melted away.

The Ocean of Grief and the New Path

As we talked, Bernadette shared the turning point that reshaped her world: the loss of her husband. For 33 years, he was her soulmate, her best friend, and her greatest encourager. To lose that kind of anchor is to find yourself suddenly adrift in what she calls "an ocean of grief.”

"I did not see or realize the opportunity for growth that was ahead of me," she told me. "The thought of having to find a new normal was frightening. How would I live with the missing?"

But Bernadette did more than just live with the missing. She leaned into her faith, holding onto the words “Be not afraid, only believe.” (Mark 5:36) She began to walk a new path, embracing her uniqueness and finding a liberating sense of freedom.

Bernadette sits proudly in front of a backdrop of artistically placed ties in her bespoke wall hanging.

Part of Bern’s photoshoot wardrobe was the handcrafted wall hanging she created out of her late husband’s neckties. Each of the ties holds a memory and is a beautiful, colorful representation of his abundant, positive energy. In some of the photographs, it serves as a background—the support standing behind her. And in other photographs it envelopes her. As I was photographing her wrapped up in his ties, her eyes lightly closed and peace settled across her face. I asked her how she felt in that moment. “Like I’m in the midst of a warm hug,” she responded.

Today, she is a woman—with an amazing sense of style— who decides her life for herself, valuing her health, her friends, and the quiet power that comes with age.

Through the Lens of Friendship

The reveal session is always an emotional milestone, but with Bern, it felt sacred. Seeing her own image, she realized that a picture truly is worth a thousand words—capturing feelings that words often fail to reach. She looked at her portraits and saw a woman who has learned to "relax and go with the moment.”

She isn’t the only one who sees that light. Her younger friends, Jan and Kate, speak of her as a "soul connection."

Jan describes her as a a gentle force in her life. “She is filled with love that radiates warmth, a kindness that soothes the soul, and a peaceful presence that calms even the most restless heart. She doesn't just exude peace; she smells of it. Being near her feels like stepping into a quiet garden where everything is safe, still and full of grace. Her spirit is soft and beautiful, like a quiet sunrise, but she carries a strength that speaks through her wisdom and her unwavering support. Bern offers tough love when needed, not to wound but to guide, with grace and compassion. Her words are thoughtful, her laughter light and her heart expansive. To me, Bern is not just a dear friend, she is a soul connection, a quiet mentor and a cherished gift. Her presence is a blessing, and her love is a legacy", expressed Jan.

Kate adds that being with Bern makes the world make sense, saying, “There have been very few people in my life whose peace has been as palpable and enduring as Bernadette’s. She has helped me to center my own soul by leading with simplicity, love, and creativity. I appreciate her strength, her vision, her adventurous spirit, and that life-breathing energy that she shares with her long and thoughtful hugs. Every time I am with her, I understand the value of a true and deep friendship. I am at home with Bern.”

The Ripening

Bernadette shared a quote with me that I won't soon forget: "A fruit’s ripening is natural and beneficial.” It reminds me of aging. In a world where aging women are often ignored or undervalued, Bernadette stands as a reminder that we are at our most powerful when we are "ripe." As David Bowie said, “aging is the process of becoming the person you always should have been.”

What would you tell your 20-year old self: Embrace your uniqueness. Try to live in the moment and keep in mind “while you are moving through time, you never set foot on anything but the present moment.” (Sarah Young) Know you can’t predict what God has for you, but you can trust him.

To Bernadette, thank you for allowing me to drink in your gentle and peaceful, yet powerful spirit. You are a testament to the fact that we never set foot on anything but the present moment—and the present moment looks beautiful on you my friend.